In the Light!

I'm a Christian who isnt very "churchy" right now. I often tell the Lord "just please forgive me, and change me while yer at it". :-)

I was listening to this song by D.C. Talk called "In the Light", and it really hits home in some ways. Heres the lyrics:


I keep trying to find a life
On my own, apart from you
I am the king of excuses
Ive got one for every selfish thing I do

Whats going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That Im still a man in need of a savior

(chorus)
I wanna be in the light
As you are in the light
I wanna shine like the stars in the heavens
Oh, lord be my light and be my salvation
Cause all I want is to be in the light
All I want is to be in the light

The disease of self runs through my blood
Its a cancer fatal to my soul
Every attempt on my behalf has failed
To bring this sickness under control

Tell me, whats going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That Im still a man in need of a savior

(repeat chorus)

Honesty becomes me
[theres nothing left to lose]
The secrets that did run me
[in your presence are defused]
Pride has no position
[and riches have no worth]
The fame that once did cover me
[has been sentenced to this earth]
Has been sentenced to this earth

Tell me, whats going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That Im still a man in need of a savior

(repeat chorus 2x)

[theres no other place that I want to be]
[no other place that I can see]
[a place to be thats just right]
[someday Im gonna be in the light]
[you are in the light]
[thats where I need to be]
[thats right where I need to be]


Thank God for his grace. Where would we be without it? If your sick, you need Doctor Jesus. :)

First day of snow in NC!

Today I woke up and looked outside and WOW! a Thin layer of snow on the ground. The thing that amazes me, is that it took almost 17 months before it snowed.....wow, I've been here that long? Time can really fly..

Another thing that amazes me; I expected to see it snow and then not stick to the ground first, simply melt. Yet the first day it snowed since I've been here, it stuck to the ground. Only a few days ago, I took a walk without a jacket. It was in the low 70s.

Snow is something I've been accustomed too living in Rochester New York. Glad I got my ice scraper, some poor folks don't own one.....heck, I don't recall seeing them being sold!

Oh no

I'm not doing to well today. I woke up this morning, full of the ultimate fatigue. All I could do is sleep and crawl around even though I was hungry. Finally I ate some food. An orange, rice, brocolli. It was so hard to get up and eat. My jaw is getting tighter and part of my throat is sore now. Headaches are starting up.

I keep resting and resting. I've been taking the penicillan tablets, 1 every 6 hours. and I cut way down on the pain killers. Doing that has caused alot of pain.

After being so sore, I decided to take 1 pain killer tablet, then eat some more. Well guess what, I ran to the bathroom and puked around 8 times. It was horrible.


I'm facing a dilema, do I try another pain killer?


dozing off..........................

In Pain

As I write this, I'm in alot of pain. I'm a night shift guy, writing this at 5:13 a.m., and I just woke up, so you know its pretty bad. Last thursday I woke up with a toothache. It wasnt too bad, I thought maybee I bit down in my sleep or something. As the shift went on, it was getting worse......and worse. I was going to work a couple hours overtime (I've been working alot of hours the past several weeks), but I couldnt take the pain. I took the asprin in the cabinet, and then more asprin, then more.....and it wasnt touching the pain.

I drove to McDonalds to buy a chocolate shake. My idea was to get cold on the tooth to ease the pain. Then I seen the wierd individual (see post below), and believe I heard spanish. So IT is Spanish, but sex is yet to be determined. The shake relieved some of the pain but for a very short time.

Then I drove to a Harris Teeter grocery store looking for some Ramen noodles (incase this is all I could eat) and some Ambesol. My hands are shaking a bit now and I'm hungry.....I'll continue in a few minutes....7:00 now. I found pinapple chunks, bit down on one and it hurt, even though I bit down on the left side. I cant bite down all the way or I'm screwed. Its very difficult eating like that, and it sux. The ambesol seems powerful, but it only effected the outside of the gums, not the inside of my tooth, so it gave no relief.

I got only a couple hours sleep even though I layed down over 12 hours. I called in work. It actually took alot of strength to get up shower and dress, because I was so tired. I found a dentist on the internet. I didnt get a dentist because I just moved to NC 14 months ago and no insurance. I got insurance now, thankfully. Initially I was getting answering machines. finally found a doc who answered and they excepted me in emergency at 2-2:30.

There was alot of pain filling out the forms and crap, I could barely do it. They took an X-ray and the dentist came in and explained. The problem is, I had a root canal and didnt go in to get it crowned. The tooth becomes dead because of no root and needs a covering or 'crown'. I put this off because someone said "I havnt got my tooth crowned for years". Since it was mad expensive I put it off. Big mistake. My tooth has a horizontal fracture and is held up by a metal post. There is tremendous pressure and acidic buildup in the infection. I have to be on antibiotics to kill the infection before he can do anything.

So I left with a prescription for penicillin and powerful pain killers. As I drove I couldnt take the pain and almost got lost. Found my way back and drove through horrid traffic to a McDonalds to by a shake to ease the pain. I got to Harris Teeter and waited for the prescription to be filled out. Amazing how 15 minutes can seem so long. I bought popsicles too.

The Painkillers took away about 70% of the pain, much more manageable. But its getting me dizzy and so I have to cut back. THis sux. So my options are to remove the tooth for 100 bucks, or have him restore it for 1000. minus insurance. Since the tooth is a mess, and it seems like I could have problems down the line and its way in the back, I elected to have it removed Monday morning. I'll probably be to dizzy for work monday.

moral of the story: when you get a root canal, dont put off the crown more then 3-4 months!

Odd Individual

I pulled into the McDonalds drive thru the other day and saw the oddest person ever. I payed the cash at the first booth, then pulled up to the second for my food. Then the most bizarre looking person handed me my bags.

Now, I'm normally the first person you would want around to NOT embarrass you, but I actually ended up stunned, and just starred at this person for a long 15 seconds. My mind could not comprehend what I was staring at.

Was this a woman or man? a Hispanic or Asian? Those two questions blasted in my brain, over and over, and caused an overload. My jaw dropped to the floor and my eyes bugged out of my head and I just was like a computer on the fritz. He....she..........it said something incoherant too, which added to the mystery. Was this a transvestite?


I guess I'll never know. :-)

White Poop

WOW! LOL! I cant believe it. My mom was at work, and went to the bathroom, and a White Lincoln log was floating there.

My question is.........HOW IS THAT EVEN REMOTELY POSSIBLE?

Did she drink liquid paper? Eat too many eggs? Drink 4 gallons of milk? I just dont understand, but its hilarious!

Work

Things are generally going pretty well at work. Until last friday. I've been working nights and finally have been getting used to it. I had the opportunity to work on a large tool on my own. It was going o.k., a bit slow. Then as I got to the end of all this work, someone said. you did it wrong, its no good.

Well, I wish he told me sooner but ........DANG IT!

I misinterpretted some code. You subtract 1.5 mm from the TA in this line of code. (how much comes off the bottom). but you have to adjust your L to +.5 or so. (cutter compensation from bottom). I had it at zero, and its not good.

Working on it now though for "retraining" in the day shift to fix it with someone. Ouch.

Sometimes all you can do is move on.

Veterans day

Saturday, I spent the day with mom. We drove to Elkin, NC to look at some embroidery machines. Its an expensive investment for her, and an important decision so I'm trying to help out.

As we drove back on the expressway, I seen the hazard lights of a line of cars for a funeral.

I look to my right and saw l young woman crying her heart out, her face all red, and in the passenger seat was a very somber elderly lady. When we got to the front of the line we saw the back of the Hertz. The coffin was draped in the American Flag.

My heart sank and I had a tear stream down my eye, it came out of nowhere.

We get preoccupied and stressed out over life, that we often dont think about the sacrifice of our soldiers.

All I can say is "thank you" and thats just not nearly enough.

Been Sick, laws of the land

Well, been going through alot.

I'm trying to sell my land in Idaho and going through mass confusion, frustration, and hell. Apparently, having your name on it as owner is not enough. Before Dad died, he put my name on it so we both own it. Now that he passed away I own it, yet not allowed to sell it? Stupid ass laws making me angry.

Now I have to find a lawyer to go through some Probate thing. stupid.

I found a lawyer, she told me she cant help out because shes not authorized to practice in Idaho. fun.

I have to get this done because someone wants to by that plot of land and hes waiting. This could take months and lose the sale. I've had a bad flu for around 2 weeks during this time too. I had to miss a day of work, I havnt done that in a long time.

Disaster at Apex

Well today at work was supposed to be big. The #2 boss was going to talk to me, in regards to hiring me permanently from Skillforce. I've been there 10 weeks and it was time for the review. Also, yesterday I got (asked) to move to nights starting monday.

So far, I have never missed a day of work at Madern, and have never been late. So this morning comes along, and I'm doing o.k. on time, should have 5-10 minutes to spare normally. As I pull into the exit for my work, the cops are blaring lights and have the entire exit blockaded! I couldnt believe it, and knew that I was going to be late now, for the first time, AND on the day of my REVIEW!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!

I dont know the area very well and its pitch black out, so I have no idea how to ge to work now. I pull into the next exit and notice to the right, that the side road is blockaded by more cops. Then I turn around and go back North bound on Route 1 and figure I would take the exit that way. Wrong, blockaded too. Then I go to the next exit on that direction and it was another expressway leading way out of the way!

Then I work my way back and I go southbound very far, only to end up in no mans land and lost a bit. I needed to relax, so I pulled into a gas station, got some coffee and a moon pie. and made my trek back again, hoping to make some headway.

I turned on the radio and heard "and if you try to make it into Apex downtown, you may be arrested......several schools are now closed.....medical facilities are closed....." Later I hear that there was HUGE chemical explosions and Apex is being evacuated! Then it rained HARD and traffic was all backed up. It felt like I was in some movie, or a nightmare. Apex is where I work and now I need to get the heck outa there.

I head home and turn on the t.v. and watch all the updates. I call in to work and apparently its closed. I fell asleep for 3 hours too. :-)