The Glass Prizon

In the Light!

2007-01-25T02:37:00.000-05:00

I'm a Christian who isnt very "churchy" right now. I often tell the Lord "just please forgive me, and change me while yer at it". :-)

I was listening to this song by D.C. Talk called "In the Light", and it really hits home in some ways. Heres the lyrics:

I keep trying to find a life
On my own, apart from you
I am the king of excuses
Ive got one for every selfish thing I do

Whats going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That Im still a man in need of a savior

(chorus)
I wanna be in the light
As you are in the light
I wanna shine like the stars in the heavens
Oh, lord be my light and be my salvation
Cause all I want is to be in the light
All I want is to be in the light

The disease of self runs through my blood
Its a cancer fatal to my soul
Every attempt on my behalf has failed
To bring this sickness under control

Tell me, whats going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That Im still a man in need of a savior

(repeat chorus)

Honesty becomes me
[theres nothing left to lose]
The secrets that did run me
[in your presence are defused]
Pride has no position
[and riches have no worth]
The fame that once did cover me
[has been sentenced to this earth]
Has been sentenced to this earth

Tell me, whats going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That Im still a man in need of a savior

(repeat chorus 2x)

[theres no other place that I want to be]
[no other place that I can see]
[a place to be thats just right]
[someday Im gonna be in the light]
[you are in the light]
[thats where I need to be]
[thats right where I need to be]

Thank God for his grace. Where would we be without it? If your sick, you need Doctor Jesus. :)

First day of snow in NC!

2007-01-18T09:28:00.000-05:00

Today I woke up and looked outside and WOW! a Thin layer of snow on the ground. The thing that amazes me, is that it took almost 17 months before it snowed.....wow, I've been here that long? Time can really fly..

Another thing that amazes me; I expected to see it snow and then not stick to the ground first, simply melt. Yet the first day it snowed since I've been here, it stuck to the ground. Only a few days ago, I took a walk without a jacket. It was in the low 70s.

Snow is something I've been accustomed too living in Rochester New York. Glad I got my ice scraper, some poor folks don't own one.....heck, I don't recall seeing them being sold!

Oh no

2006-12-16T17:30:00.000-05:00

I'm not doing to well today. I woke up this morning, full of the ultimate fatigue. All I could do is sleep and crawl around even though I was hungry. Finally I ate some food. An orange, rice, brocolli. It was so hard to get up and eat. My jaw is getting tighter and part of my throat is sore now. Headaches are starting up.

I keep resting and resting. I've been taking the penicillan tablets, 1 every 6 hours. and I cut way down on the pain killers. Doing that has caused alot of pain.

After being so sore, I decided to take 1 pain killer tablet, then eat some more. Well guess what, I ran to the bathroom and puked around 8 times. It was horrible.

I'm facing a dilema, do I try another pain killer?

dozing off..........................

In Pain

2006-12-16T05:12:00.000-05:00

As I write this, I'm in alot of pain. I'm a night shift guy, writing this at 5:13 a.m., and I just woke up, so you know its pretty bad. Last thursday I woke up with a toothache. It wasnt too bad, I thought maybee I bit down in my sleep or something. As the shift went on, it was getting worse......and worse. I was going to work a couple hours overtime (I've been working alot of hours the past several weeks), but I couldnt take the pain. I took the asprin in the cabinet, and then more asprin, then more.....and it wasnt touching the pain.

I drove to McDonalds to buy a chocolate shake. My idea was to get cold on the tooth to ease the pain. Then I seen the wierd individual (see post below), and believe I heard spanish. So IT is Spanish, but sex is yet to be determined. The shake relieved some of the pain but for a very short time.

Then I drove to a Harris Teeter grocery store looking for some Ramen noodles (incase this is all I could eat) and some Ambesol. My hands are shaking a bit now and I'm hungry.....I'll continue in a few minutes....7:00 now. I found pinapple chunks, bit down on one and it hurt, even though I bit down on the left side. I cant bite down all the way or I'm screwed. Its very difficult eating like that, and it sux. The ambesol seems powerful, but it only effected the outside of the gums, not the inside of my tooth, so it gave no relief.

I got only a couple hours sleep even though I layed down over 12 hours. I called in work. It actually took alot of strength to get up shower and dress, because I was so tired. I found a dentist on the internet. I didnt get a dentist because I just moved to NC 14 months ago and no insurance. I got insurance now, thankfully. Initially I was getting answering machines. finally found a doc who answered and they excepted me in emergency at 2-2:30.

There was alot of pain filling out the forms and crap, I could barely do it. They took an X-ray and the dentist came in and explained. The problem is, I had a root canal and didnt go in to get it crowned. The tooth becomes dead because of no root and needs a covering or 'crown'. I put this off because someone said "I havnt got my tooth crowned for years". Since it was mad expensive I put it off. Big mistake. My tooth has a horizontal fracture and is held up by a metal post. There is tremendous pressure and acidic buildup in the infection. I have to be on antibiotics to kill the infection before he can do anything.

So I left with a prescription for penicillin and powerful pain killers. As I drove I couldnt take the pain and almost got lost. Found my way back and drove through horrid traffic to a McDonalds to by a shake to ease the pain. I got to Harris Teeter and waited for the prescription to be filled out. Amazing how 15 minutes can seem so long. I bought popsicles too.

The Painkillers took away about 70% of the pain, much more manageable. But its getting me dizzy and so I have to cut back. THis sux. So my options are to remove the tooth for 100 bucks, or have him restore it for 1000. minus insurance. Since the tooth is a mess, and it seems like I could have problems down the line and its way in the back, I elected to have it removed Monday morning. I'll probably be to dizzy for work monday.

moral of the story: when you get a root canal, dont put off the crown more then 3-4 months!

Odd Individual

2006-12-13T10:22:00.000-05:00

I pulled into the McDonalds drive thru the other day and saw the oddest person ever. I payed the cash at the first booth, then pulled up to the second for my food. Then the most bizarre looking person handed me my bags.

Now, I'm normally the first person you would want around to NOT embarrass you, but I actually ended up stunned, and just starred at this person for a long 15 seconds. My mind could not comprehend what I was staring at.

Was this a woman or man? a Hispanic or Asian? Those two questions blasted in my brain, over and over, and caused an overload. My jaw dropped to the floor and my eyes bugged out of my head and I just was like a computer on the fritz. He....she..........it said something incoherant too, which added to the mystery. Was this a transvestite?

I guess I'll never know. :-)

White Poop

2006-11-20T16:25:00.000-05:00

WOW! LOL! I cant believe it. My mom was at work, and went to the bathroom, and a White Lincoln log was floating there.

My question is.........HOW IS THAT EVEN REMOTELY POSSIBLE?

Did she drink liquid paper? Eat too many eggs? Drink 4 gallons of milk? I just dont understand, but its hilarious!

Work

2006-11-13T17:53:00.000-05:00

Things are generally going pretty well at work. Until last friday. I've been working nights and finally have been getting used to it. I had the opportunity to work on a large tool on my own. It was going o.k., a bit slow. Then as I got to the end of all this work, someone said. you did it wrong, its no good.

Well, I wish he told me sooner but ........DANG IT!

I misinterpretted some code. You subtract 1.5 mm from the TA in this line of code. (how much comes off the bottom). but you have to adjust your L to +.5 or so. (cutter compensation from bottom). I had it at zero, and its not good.

Working on it now though for "retraining" in the day shift to fix it with someone. Ouch.

Sometimes all you can do is move on.

Veterans day

2006-11-13T17:47:00.000-05:00

Saturday, I spent the day with mom. We drove to Elkin, NC to look at some embroidery machines. Its an expensive investment for her, and an important decision so I'm trying to help out.

As we drove back on the expressway, I seen the hazard lights of a line of cars for a funeral.

I look to my right and saw l young woman crying her heart out, her face all red, and in the passenger seat was a very somber elderly lady. When we got to the front of the line we saw the back of the Hertz. The coffin was draped in the American Flag.

My heart sank and I had a tear stream down my eye, it came out of nowhere.

We get preoccupied and stressed out over life, that we often dont think about the sacrifice of our soldiers.

All I can say is "thank you" and thats just not nearly enough.

Been Sick, laws of the land

2006-11-13T17:41:00.000-05:00

Well, been going through alot.

I'm trying to sell my land in Idaho and going through mass confusion, frustration, and hell. Apparently, having your name on it as owner is not enough. Before Dad died, he put my name on it so we both own it. Now that he passed away I own it, yet not allowed to sell it? Stupid ass laws making me angry.

Now I have to find a lawyer to go through some Probate thing. stupid.

I found a lawyer, she told me she cant help out because shes not authorized to practice in Idaho. fun.

I have to get this done because someone wants to by that plot of land and hes waiting. This could take months and lose the sale. I've had a bad flu for around 2 weeks during this time too. I had to miss a day of work, I havnt done that in a long time.

Disaster at Apex

2006-10-06T13:25:00.000-04:00

Well today at work was supposed to be big. The #2 boss was going to talk to me, in regards to hiring me permanently from Skillforce. I've been there 10 weeks and it was time for the review. Also, yesterday I got (asked) to move to nights starting monday.

So far, I have never missed a day of work at Madern, and have never been late. So this morning comes along, and I'm doing o.k. on time, should have 5-10 minutes to spare normally. As I pull into the exit for my work, the cops are blaring lights and have the entire exit blockaded! I couldnt believe it, and knew that I was going to be late now, for the first time, AND on the day of my REVIEW!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!

I dont know the area very well and its pitch black out, so I have no idea how to ge to work now. I pull into the next exit and notice to the right, that the side road is blockaded by more cops. Then I turn around and go back North bound on Route 1 and figure I would take the exit that way. Wrong, blockaded too. Then I go to the next exit on that direction and it was another expressway leading way out of the way!

Then I work my way back and I go southbound very far, only to end up in no mans land and lost a bit. I needed to relax, so I pulled into a gas station, got some coffee and a moon pie. and made my trek back again, hoping to make some headway.

I turned on the radio and heard "and if you try to make it into Apex downtown, you may be arrested......several schools are now closed.....medical facilities are closed....." Later I hear that there was HUGE chemical explosions and Apex is being evacuated! Then it rained HARD and traffic was all backed up. It felt like I was in some movie, or a nightmare. Apex is where I work and now I need to get the heck outa there.

I head home and turn on the t.v. and watch all the updates. I call in to work and apparently its closed. I fell asleep for 3 hours too. :-)

a great day that caught me by surprise

2006-10-04T19:49:00.000-04:00

#1 Went to work, and it went well. The second in command of the company had a chat with me. Hes interested in talking to me friday about hiring me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Take that jerky Jeff from JMK!!!
This could possibly mean a raise, and definatly mean benefits. I really need to go to the dentist and been putting it off because of no benefits.

#2 Took mom to pizza buffet, and baught klondike bars.

#3 Mom got her sticker for her vechicle registration. (it was missing and causing stress)

#4 Mom got an important call that will help her start her business

#5 The NY Mets won the first playoff game 6-5

#6 Friday begins the new series of "Battlestar Gallactica"

#7 (and most important) My friend Amy seems to be doing good after her spinal operation. Please pray for her. She needs continued improvement on her recovery from numbness.

Hey wait a minute! my moms having the great day! :-)

The New Orlean Saints

2006-10-01T19:31:00.000-04:00

Well I'm a Saints fan. Yes, historically the worst team in the NFL. This year, they had gutted most of the roster, and got new coaches and players. I'm excited because they are doing great! They started the season 3-0. and had their first Home game in 22 months or something like that. The reason is because Hurricane Katrina practically destroyed the superdome.

Today they lost, 21-18. :-( Its ok though, as long as they keep playing well.

Also, in my fantasy football league, with my friends from up north, I'm 3-0. Looks like I'm losing so far this week, but ya never know.

Emergency Kit

2006-09-20T20:42:00.000-04:00

A couple of weeks ago, I pulled into work and someone told me that I had a flat tire. I didnt even realise it, but it was rapidly going down. So at the end of my shift I went out there, and a co-worker was very helpful. He had this cool plug kit. Its like a T-handle with a rubber piece you put at the end. He pulled the huge nail out, and after a few tries, plugged the tire up. good as new.

In my trunk I have an emergency kit, and I plugged the air-compressor up and filled the tire back up. Good as new!

Today at work, as I was leaving with a co-worker. I noticed his car wouldnt start. It was dead. We opened the hood and his battery looked liked year old wilted lettuce with frumunda cheese thrown on it. I pulled my car up to his and pulled out the ol' trusty emergency kit and found connector cables. I gave him a boost and in 30 seconds he was off to buy a new battery.

I highly recomend an emergency car kit. Its a great gift idea too. Should run $30-$75.

One interesting thing. This morning, I pulled up to the road that leads to my work, gave the left signal. A guy coming from the opposite direction was in such a hurry, he just flew to the right. Then I noticed he quickly pulled into the parking lot of my work! It was a co-worker I know. Its just odd, because, the way he drove seemed so arrogant. Yet the guy is really cool. I guess not all bad drivers are jerks, we just assume that they are. :-)

Stuff

2006-09-16T23:31:00.000-04:00

WOW, couldnt figure out how to blog since they changed something. When I sighned in, it gave me some google beta garbage......grrrr.....frustrating. Anyway, it let me blog now.....and things are...boring.

Job still going and going pretty well. After 7 weeks of training, I start on my own machine monday. Kinda nervous, its like starting a new job all over again. Theres still sooo much to learn, I cant believe it. I might be moved to nights eventually.

Things I'm looking forward too:
Battlestar Galactica in October
3 new games coming out in a few months
Learning and being comfortable at the job!

Have a great week!

Much Better start to the week

2006-08-21T18:51:00.000-04:00

Just a few things. The week is starting out on a right foot this time.

I had a very good and productive day at work! Things went very well.
The Ecoli scare is over! water is now safe. Aparently it was safe, except for 12 homes on 1 road.
I just downloaded a demo for a new game coming out called Dark Messiah of Might and Magic. (yeah I know, sounds bad). But its good fun!!! Loving it, very immersive bloody sword fighting.

Bing! Bang! Boom!!! and Ecoli too!!!

2006-08-19T19:27:00.000-04:00

Holy cow. Bad bad bad bad bad bad bad. I had a bad day at work thursday and friday. I crashed the machine each day! Then I left a bolt on the part and lifted the machine. I cant believe this. Luckily nothing was damaged but I'm looking pretty bad now. Then on friday, a part with eye-bolts in it, rotated......its hard to explain. but basically it ended upside down in a position that physically appeared immpossible. David Copperfield would be confused by that one. The guy I was working with just laughed, what a ridiculous day. Hopefully I will have a good week next week....if they still keep me around.

I just got my second check, but its basically cancelled out by my nice car insurance bill thats due.

We just had some junk go on at the water plant. Apparently some dangerous form of ecoli got mixed in the Cary water supply. Theres a mild panic. Many restaraunts and businesses closed down. we cant drink our water and went to buy some, and they were almost sold out. Mom threw away the ice cubes. I told her no coffee without usuing bottled water. Can you imagine if terrorist decided to poison our water?

The 24th of this month, marks our first year, when Mom and I moved here to North Carolina! I thought we should celebrate while she had the weekend off, so I took her to Cracker Barrel the next towne over (I wanted to go to Red Lobster but they were closed because of the ecoli)
Then I took her to see Miami Vice. It was nice, but not like the vice of old. We then went to an ice cream parlor, but it was closed down. Thanks Ecoli, take the pleaure of delicious ice cream away. So we later decided to look for sanitized soap. after many sold out stores we found the last bottle at eckard. 2 kids in a truck yelled at us "RAAARRR!!!" "DuuashBagg!!!", I didnt react. It just made me say "and here I thought that I should be the one riding the small bus for screwing up at work!"

last night was nice. I went to a newcomers type desert for a church that I visit occasionally. Pretty nice people.

My new job

2006-08-06T20:59:00.000-04:00

Friday before last I got called into another interview with the company I interviewed 3 months ago before I was fired from my last job. The interview went great and I started Monday.

My first day was gruelling. Me and this other new guy had to move a buch of heavy stuff in 95 degree heat. I was pouring in sweat and exhausted when I got home.

The next days tuesday through friday I got to meet everyone and begin training. everyone is great! terrific personalitys! In order to punch in, you simply put your finger on this imprint device, pretty cool. The machine I am trying to get training on is a 4 axis CNC FP50 Deckel. Its European and I have to think in Millimeters which is a difficult adjustment.

So far I'm a bit lost, but I'm trying my butt off. I've taken alot of notes but they end up so scrambled. I tried for almost an hour today to retyped them, but the notes didnt end up too clear.

Hopefully this coming week I'll learn how to take clear cut notes and grasp things little by little. Its quite a challenge, but I can only give it 100% right?

The A-hole boss stikes again!

2006-08-04T20:56:00.000-04:00

Well I guess this guy is my own personal nemisis, a satan like figure. While I struggled to find a job and support my mom, this SOB is fighting my Unemployment and said some very nasty and untruthful things I got in a letter I got from the Unemployment agency. I was really stunned. Now, a few hours later I'm getting steamed:

Claiment: Manfred J. Gedeik
Employer: JMK Tool & Die (idiots own initials)

Reasons:

Claimant last worked for JMK Tool on may 5, 2006. Claimant filed an NIC Claim effective June 4, 2006 which has been continued through July 29.

Claimant was separated from this job as the employer felt that he could not perform the work that he was hired to do. He was unable to run all the machines or work independently. They tried to teach him, but he kept making mistakes over and over. He was not a tool and die maker as they were led to believe, so evidently. The employer failed to check all this out before he was hired.

[This is unbelievable. I told him in the interview my exact experience, and what I didnt have experience on. I have a certificate of Toolmaker! Tool and Die is similar but he knew what I told him. Ofcourse I couldnt "run all the machines". exact interview "Have you ever run the wire?" "no". "would you be willing to learn?" "yes". I was doing great for awhile in there too. I couldnt "work independantly" (100% of the time) because he didnt have crap for measuring , equipment, and supplies. The ONLY shop never to supply drills and endmills!!! They had their own way of doing things that slowed me down also. Had to clean like a freak taking time away from making parts, all parts had to be pristine vastly above and beyond what the print calls for, and in an ungodly time frame that his 2 longtime workers cant always make. "kept making mistakes over and over". Hes a liar. Mistakes are made in machine shops a fair amount. You can have 200 procedures to make a part, you mess one up and its over. #1 he never wanted extras made, unlike other shops. #2 he made as much mistakes as me even though he worked less and had much more experience ofcourse in his own system. He screwed things in the wire like a dope several times. I've rarely seen mistakes in the wire after 8 years at Monsees.

Conclusions:

N.C.G.S. 96-14(2) Provides an individual shall be disqualified for benefits for the duration of his unemployment if it is determined by the Comission such individual is unemployed because he was discharged for misconduct connected with the work.

N.C.G.S. 96-14(2a) Provides an indivdual shall be disqualified for a period of not less than four nor more than 13 weeks if it is determined by the Commision such individual is unemployed because he was discharged for substantial fault on his part connected with his work not rising to the level of misconduct.

Based on the foregoing, it is concluded, claimant was discharged but not for misconduct or substantial fault connected with the work.

The determination will become final unless an appeal is filed by 8/18/06.

This guy is something else. I know I'm supposed to be a good Christian, but man I want this evil vile soul to get what he deserves. It sounds like I won the case, but the suffering this little man causes to anyone who enters his radius is alarming.

Now it is true that I was slow in the Lathe because my experience was minimal in there. I let him know that. I was great at 2 axis-mills. He bought one while I was there and he rented a fork truck to take it off and had to go soooo fast and bumped and broke part of it. This was a 3 axis machine. I learned how to do it in relatively short time, but the darn Z kept sticking or something because of his forklift driving skills. Something was broke in there. Finally it was fixed after I was about out the door. Figures.

Stuff went wrong more then normal in his shop, but it was his own undoing.

Heres a list of facts and I'm done ranting.....I think lol.

1) Current boss called Jeff "hes an A$hole". Also said he couldnt handle the work he promised.
2) Current employee talked to a differnent shop owner. He said of Jeff "Hes an A$hole"
3) only has 2 longtime emplyees. 1 was fired 5 times.
4) Had 30-35 employees to fill about 2 positions in 7-9 years since hes been in business. Pathetice since he only has an average of 4 employees at all times. Thats an employee per 4 months?
5) Glanced at a fax from a customer. He was irate and got the shaft from Jeff, while the customer gave him a break. "this is not good for our business relationship!" it said.
6) Angry customer on phone said "I'm very dissapointed!".
7) Didnt give one of his loyal workers a raise in SEVERAL years.
8) buys absolutly NO tooling for the shop.
9) Used a 78 year old man who lost his wife. He had $27 left in a bank account and had to pay a mortgage. Came out of retirement to work for Jeff and needed a break. Jeff paid him low and should not of expected much. Well, he expected the world even with that low pay, so he gives him and myself a paycut. Gave the old guy a paycut from $12 to $8, and he had to leave. Just sad.
10) Asked me to lie on the phone. I HATE lying. He would avoid the phone and his customers often (I wonder why). and gave it too me to see he wasnt there. I did it once. Then one day as I was leaving he handed me the phone and told me to say such and such lie and I said "NO I'm not going to do it". and I punched out.
11) goes bar hopping and drinking while married with kids. classy.

I could go on, but I'm gonna end this rant. thanks for letting me vent!!!

Finally a job!

2006-07-27T22:01:00.000-04:00

When I moved to North Carolina nearly a year ago, I had money in the bank but no job lined up. I tried but it didnt work out because of my limited CNC experience on the mills, so I thought I would find a job when I arrived. As funds began to quickly diminish and I couldnt find a job right away I paniced. Just as my faith wavered the Lord got me a job. Just in time too, I was down to a month left of being able to pay the bills. GULP! This may have been my fault as I procrastinate and struggle with confidence, because as soon as I faxed my resume' to 3 places I got a call in 2 hours for one job, and the next day for another! Skillforce (job agency) called and said come on in tomorrow and we'll hook you up with a job. (like Madern).

The next day, about an hour away from my appointment with Skillforce I get a call from mr. Ar$HoLe saying, "come on in right now for an interview". I said, I have an appointment with skillforce, "oh, they are looking for me, its better you come in here now". Full of confusion, and being a push over, I canceled with Skillforce (what a mistake) and drove for 3 hours trying to find the guy and got the interview and job. I knew to ask for alot more money then intended because skillforce was talking those dollars.

Unfortunatly, the job was a VERY long drive away, and with these gas prices it hurt bad. But what was worse, was my boss was evil, terrible, selfish, and nasty. Totally unreasonable and the lowest of humanbeings I have ever met in my life. Hes hurt and caused much grief, sorrow, and anger to many many people in his life. My only hope is he changes because to take that resume' to God is going to be hard to explain. I can write more on that at another time. Basically he was extra critical for unknown reasons, perhaps money was one, but he fired me in May.

I became lethargic and depressed, and even less confident. But I intervied with Skillforce who had me interview with Madern 2 weeks before I got fired. They were interested but couldnt hire at the time because they were moving into a very large new building.

FINALLY just now I got the 2nd interview and they hired me today 2 months later. Just as the bank account was on empty too. Thank you unemployment for not showing up. Again, the Lord teaching me to have faith I guess. Ironically, the job is for a CNC mill which I struggle with confidence to do CNC but want too. So, I'm hoping I can figure this sucka out or I will be in trouble. The bosses seemed very very nice and reasonable and expecting to take weeks and months to teach me, so its cool. I accepted lower pay because its very justified at this time.

BUT I GOT THE JOB IN A NICE NEW BUILDING! So I'm happy about that.

Now comes hard work.........

Cleaned the floor

2006-07-18T22:39:00.000-04:00

Today was not so exciting. I changed the bag on the vacuum cleaner and vacuumed everywhere. Oh dear it took quite some time. Then I scrubed the bathroom and kitchen floors. Oh dear that was not fun. Exhausted, I went for a 1/2 hour walk in 97 degree heat, yep good logic there. After that I ordered some Chinese, only $4 for lunch special.

I had pork with Mushrooms, and as a side I ordered 10 crabmeat cheese ragoons. Yummy, only $3.25 Then While I ate I gave a tiny bit to Abigail. (a.k.a. Miss piggy). The cat just loves to eat. This was after I gave the bambam and Ms. Piggy their soft food treat!

Next I had no more ambition to get some things done that I wanted too, so I napped. When I woke up, Ms.Piggy was there purring. Usually she passes out on the couch and cant be moved.

That is all. :-) Hope you had a wonderful day.

Waste

2006-07-15T13:38:00.000-04:00

Well I just took out the trash moments ago. Living in an apartment we have those large metal trash container we all know and love. The trash technicians didnt take the trash last week so its building up. I am AMAZED at how full the thing is in less then 2 weeks.

Its kinda made me think about waste. How much we produce is astounding. Think of all the toilets flushing in an apartment complex. Multiple times in each unit, day after day. Then think of the water expended in showers, and the food consumed, and the toilet paper, kleenex, soap, shampoo and other things used.

With all the water we use it amazing we dont run out. We take so much from the ground and then our by products (poo and pee) have to go somewhere (back in the ground). Think about all the gasoline and oil in our vechicles that we burn up.

It really takes alot to keep humans going yet we are sustained somehow.

I thought about a bucket of chicken wings. Say you get a 50 wing bucket at KFC. Thats alot of food for a few folks, but dang thats 25 chickens!

any thoughs?

Electricity vs. community?

2006-07-08T22:40:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was odd. It was a nice sunny day here in NC, and I was on my computer, all of a sudden, ALL power went out. It was odd because it seemed for no reason. I picked up the phone and that was out as well! this usually doesnt happen even when the electricity is down.

People started to go outside. I walked outside and was talking to different people in the apartment complex and found that the whole area had lost electricity. I walked to the traffic light and that was out. Then I went to the local grocery store to buy batterys and they had no power either, except some minimal power from their generator. I bought batterys for all the flashlights I had (I needed them).

When I came back I went for a nice walk all over a few different apartment complexes and EVERYONE and thier dogs .....and cat were out. There were like 10 people gathered togather with 5 dogs just talking! then some guy had a HUGE white furry cat on his shouldier talking to a neighbor. Some other guys were working on thier car blasting music. I could go on, but the point is EVERYONE was out and talking and doing things.

Whats interesting is this. I go for walks often and dont see much activity. Folks are glued to their computers (like me) or t.v. or whatever. It reminded me of the storys my grandfather told me about his day. You didnt have to lock your doors, people all knew eachother well, neighbors knew all neighbors. The community was very tight. If a murder happened back then, it would be HUGE news and everyone would be talking about it. Now, we yawn at 2,000 killings in the city.

Its just odd how our wonderful technology has blessed us, but also cursed us in a way. Its also quite revealing how dependant we truly are on electricity. People are not as close as the once were.

I dont have much good advice for this experience except this; Take a moment once in awhile and think about things. Also, keep an eye out for when you can help your neighbor.

VOV Bash

2006-07-04T01:52:00.000-04:00

WOW this is overdue. It seems I have little sense of time while I'm unemployed, kind of bizzare and I'm really looking forward to starting work....did I just say that?

3 weeks ago I took a long weekend to Atlanta GA to meet my longtime online friends from VOV. (Vanguard of Vengeance). I started online gaming at the end of 98 and met VOV. I've established great friendships with VOV and was excited when we finally got to meet face to face. Thanks to Jack and Lisa! What terrific folks, I am stunned....well maybee not...but EVERYONE IS AWESOME! Such wonderful people. People like this make life worth living, they make the world go round and I'm fiercly loyal to them. I hope all their lives are long, happy, and prosperous.

pics can be found here.

We played splatball and shot eachother up. My only time getting hit was on the thumb, but I still wonder if I got anybody. I shot thousands of times aimlessly in the air, while I cowarded behind Ace. Then we took a nice picnic to Stone Mountain Park and saw a laser show. The nights were fabulous. I learned poker, some muchinkin game, and had fun on the X-Box 360.

Super thanks goes out to Killah for the VOV shirts, and Jack and Lisa for letting me stay in their home and supplying us with Hotdogs Hamburgs etc. I just cant say thank you enough.

Anyway, I look forward to next time and hope I can make it, and meet even more VOV members.

Zar---Cow------weeeeee!!!!!!!!!--- whats that thing?

2006-06-09T19:06:00.001-04:00

He was labeled by Osama Bin Laden as "the great prince of Iraq". He was responsible for countless murders of his own Iraqi citizens, including a 125 death bombing in one day. He killed americans over there including the PERSONAL beheading of 2 american men with a rusty knife.

Its terrible to celebrate death, but when evil is defeated it is a great day. A wonderful much needed victory for the United States, and Iraqi democratic process.

The video is up, but I do have something to point out. What is that orb thingy in the bombing video? its floating around from left to right, just something to point out. :-)

www.youtube.com/watch?search=&v=LU7AYOGiD-8

here

">Here

cant figure out how to link this, so just highlight the link, copy it, then paste in address bar.

Let it go, what you can’t control

2006-05-31T17:09:00.000-04:00

A few years ago I was going through a rough time…….actually……rough times are sprinkled throughout all our lives isn’t it? I just got a call to come back to work after a 6 month layoff. I was relieved because the unemployment checks were coming to an end, and I had part time college to pay for soon. Thanksgiving was also around the corner.

I was a bit sluggish in my first week or three back to work, trying to get in the “grove of things” again.  In the first week on a Thursday, I pulled into work and did the routine. At lunchtime, I went out to drive to get some food, only to find my car missing! In broad daylight and at a very busy intersection it was stolen! (Sarcasm On/) I called the police and they came out very quickly…..only 2 ½ hours later! (Sarcasm off/)

Fortunately, the boss let me use the company Van to drive around in, until the matter was resolved. A few days later the car was found. I went to the impoundment location and they wouldn’t let me take my car for quite sometime! Then the insurance representative came down and said there wasn’t much damage which was false!! The process took long enough, to where I let the Van go back to the company and I rented a car from the Airport with my own money up front!!!

Finally when I got the car, I realized the extent of the damage. For no reason, the thieves broke the stick so that park, reverse, and drive were in horrific shape. The nice CD player was ripped out, the inside torn up, the outer frame had damage and the ignition was ruined. Additionally my best CDs were stolen and my best Tennis Racket!!!!

Because of lack of knowledge, I didn’t handle the process with my insurance well. I ended up paying to get some of it fixed so that it was drivable when I shouldn’t of. Basically, when I was driving it, it felt like such a mess that I used it as a trade in and lost a lot of value. Tragically on top of it all, I had just paid it off (I bought it new) and was looking forward to not having to make payments in my financial time of need.

End of Story, but now the real point.

At one point I had to go to the bank to change my checking and savings account numbers for my protection. The Bank employee asked “why?” I responded with a smile “my vehicle was stolen with bank numbers in it”, “I’m sorry” she said, “Its ok, that’s life”. At this point she had a shocked look on her face and said “WOW, its amazing how well you’re handling this, I would be upset”.

So for some reason I handled this particular crisis really well….I wish I could always handle my emotions this well. Take control of your reaction.

Steps:
1) Don’t panic, it will only produce negative results
2) ACCEPT what you cannot control
3) Take it a step at a time
4) No matter what ridiculous things pop up, always tell yourself “where do I go from here or from this point on”. Think forward.

The Hurt Person before you

2006-05-31T17:00:00.000-04:00

Have you ever had to deal with a person in your life; whether it is an irate customer, betraying friend, hurtful family member, or a nasty boss, that just seems to defy logic with their unfair dealings with you? You try to reason and talk to this person, but they respond with words that hurt your heart, or cause a wellspring of anger to rise up inside of you. You try your best, but it’s never good enough. Often times, you can never do any good…ever.

When confronted with these Weak Jerkies, our emotions get thrown to the surface. We may respond with outrage, sadness, and frustration. I would like to bring your attention too what is behind the surface. What is going on inside the worthless meat bag in front of you that has made them become so inexplicably ludicrous? These adult babies are often shallow inconsiderate human beings, with no concern for YOU or others.

Example:
Person A= Adult baby Person B= You

A---Why isn’t this done? I wish I was never married! Your work is slow! You didn’t do that yet? Anyone with half a brain could do that! You stink!
B---well what happened was this...
A---I don’t care!
B---If we could talk about this…..
A---Whatever! You should of……

They (A) send out bad waves which directly affect the person (B) their dealing with. Then (B) might be more edgy and be nastier to their spouse. Then the spouse is shorter tempered with a co-worker, then the co-worker takes it out on his friend. Do you see the possible compound affect of letting a jerk influence your life? Like a darkness cloud on the whole community. The good news is, the opposite can be true when you spread love and good deeds!

Steps:
1) Don’t blame yourself (but examine yourself in a positive light)
2) Don’t fall into the trap (of being like them, responding like them, fighting)
3) If the relationship is too hurtful, move on (no sense in making yourself psychologically unhealthy and unhappy in this short lifetime)
4) Give a gentle hint of a correct action (You cant save those not humble enough for change)
5) Ask yourself this question “who’s really looking out for me?” (if your brutally honest, your not going to like the answer)
6) God LOVES you, you are unique and special. His opinion is above all others.

See behind the flesh though; think of the troubled Soul inside. This antagonist you’re dealing with might appear to have an excuse. Perhaps he suffered a horrible childhood, terrible handicap or experience? Regardless, this person has CHOSEN THE DARKSIDE. This is a truth, because no matter what circumstances you go through in life, you can choose to hurt or help others. A weak person takes the dark path. Not to say the person may have an out-of-character bad day and such. But if this is the normal mannerism of the meat bag you need to make a decision.

Sometimes, it’s just best to move on. Their change is up to them, and they either have refused, or chosen darkness. You deserve better.

The Glass Prison Introduction

2006-04-28T20:23:00.000-04:00

Hello all and welcome to my blog! I thought it may be a good idea to shoot some thoughts out there from time to time. Your thoughts are more then welcome as I would like to know when I’m crazy. For now, my plan is to post on mid day Sunday..... actually who knows! My tendency is to keep things concise unless I go off into a rant. Still, I’m undecided how personal I will get, but I will try to keep on topic.

The first time I heard of the term “Glass Prison” was from a song by Dream Theater, a very talented band. Though the song and lyrics have nothing to do with this blog, I often felt that one could get another meaning from the title. Glass Prison. I think of it as something around us all, that we do not see. Perhaps it is a mechanism of secret control? Or freedoms we think we have that are not there? Or our lack of accepting awful events or not forgiving someone- which in essence imprisons us? Or perhaps a battle in the spiritual realm, surrounding us?

Here are some scriptures on what I base the term “Glass Prizon” off of:

Ephesians 6:12 For our wrestling is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world-rulers of this darkness, against the spiritual [hosts] of wickedness in the heavenly [places].

Fear not though my friends, the Glass Prison will not separate you from Gods love!

Romans 8:38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Lets cover many different topics; Politics, real life events, perception vs. reality, religion, and who knows what else.